What Our Key Workers Wish People Understood About Autism

Every day, our key workers spend time alongside autistic individuals; not just supporting their daily activities, but building trust, understanding communication, and forming meaningful relationships. Through this work, many common misconceptions about autism become clear.

Despite growing public awareness, autism is still often misunderstood in ways that affect how autistic people are treated, supported, and included. Drawing from day-to-day practice, and supported by psychological research - here are three things our key workers wish more people truly understood about autism.

1. Autism Is Not Rudeness or a Lack of Empathy

It Is a Different Way of Processing the World

Autistic people are frequently perceived as rude, disengaged, or lacking empathy. However, research consistently shows that autism involves differences in social communication, sensory processing, and information processing, not an absence of emotional capacity (American Psychiatric Association, 2022).

Autistic individuals may:

• Communicate more directly

• Use less eye contact

• Express emotions differently

• Need more time to process social information

These differences are often misinterpreted through non-autistic social norms. Importantly, many autistic people experience empathy deeply, but express it in ways that are not always recognised by others - a phenomenon sometimes referred to as the “double empathy problem” (Milton, 2012). Understanding autism as a difference rather than a deficit helps shift interactions from judgement to mutual understanding.

2. What Looks Like “Behaviour that challenges” Is Often Communication

Behaviour is one of the most misunderstood aspects of autism. What is frequently labelled as “behaviour that challenges” is often a form of communication, particularly when verbal communication is difficult or when someone feels overwhelmed (Kerns et al., 2015).

Behaviour may be communicating:

- Sensory overload

- A need for attention

- Tangible needs

- Difficulty understanding expectations

- Or a need for escape

From a psychological perspective, behaviour does not occur in isolation - it is influenced by environmental demands, sensory input, and emotional regulation capacity (Matson & Sturmey, 2011). When behaviour is understood as communication rather than defiance, support shifts from control to curiosity, leading to more effective and respectful interventions.

3. Consistency and Understanding Matter More Than Discipline

Traditional behaviour-focused or discipline-based approaches often overlook the importance of emotional safety and relational trust. Research shows that autistic individuals respond more positively in environments that prioritise predictability, consistency, and supportive relationships (O’Neill et al., 2015).

Relationship-based and person-centred approaches emphasise:

• Consistent responses

• Respect for individual pace

• Emotional safety

• Collaborative problem-solving

When autistic people feel safe and understood, they are more able to engage, communicate, and develop skills. Discipline alone does not build trust - relationships do. This aligns with trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming models of care, which recognise safety as a prerequisite for learning and regulation (Porges, 2011).

Understanding and Relationship Changes Everything

Autism is not a problem to fix.

It is a perspective to understand.

When we take the time to listen, build relationships, and adapt environments rather than individuals, support becomes more meaningful and effective. These lessons - grounded in both lived experience and research - shape how we approach autism support every day.

Understanding and relationship changes everything.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). DSM-5-TR: Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). Author.

Kerns, C. M., Newschaffer, C. J., & Berkowitz, S. J. (2015). Traumatic childhood events and autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 45(11), 3475–3486. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2392-y

Matson, J. L., & Sturmey, P. (2011). International handbook of autism and pervasive developmental disorders. Springer.

Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The “double empathy problem”. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008

O’Neill, R. E., Albin, R. W., Storey, K., Horner, R. H., & Sprague, J. R. (2015). Functional assessment and program development for problem behavior (3rd ed.). Cengage Learning.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. Norton