Small Things That Help People Feel Safe and Valued

Feeling safe and valued is a fundamental human need. In support settings, particularly when working with autistic individuals and others with additional needs, emotional safety is not created through grand interventions or rigid rules. Instead, it is built through consistent, small, relational actions repeated over time.

These small moments shape how people experience their environment, their relationships, and themselves.

Why Emotional Safety Matters

Emotional safety refers to the sense that one can exist, communicate, and express needs without fear of judgement, punishment, or rejection. Psychological research shows that emotional safety is essential for regulation, learning, and relationship-building (Porges, 2011).

When people do not feel safe, their nervous system remains in a state of alert, making communication, learning, and independence far more difficult. Conversely, when emotional safety is present, people are better able to engage, explore, and develop confidence.

The Power of Small Actions

In practice, feeling safe and valued is rarely about what is said; it is about what is consistently done.

Small actions that make a meaningful difference include:

Being Patient

Allowing people time to process information, respond in their own way, and move at their own pace reduces pressure and anxiety. Processing differences are common in autism, and patience supports regulation rather than overwhelm (American Psychiatric Association, 2022).

Listening Without Correcting

When communication is met with immediate correction or redirection, people may feel misunderstood or silenced. Listening without judgement signals respect and helps build trust, particularly when communication styles differ (Milton, 2012).

Keeping Your Word

Consistency and follow-through are central to trust. Predictable responses help people feel secure and reduce uncertainty, which is especially important for autistic individuals who may rely on routine and reliability (O’Neill et al., 2015).

Respecting Boundaries

Respecting personal, sensory, and emotional boundaries communicates that an individual’s needs are valid. Boundary-respecting environments are closely linked to feelings of belonging and self-worth (Ryan & Deci, 2017).

How Small Moments Create Belonging

Belonging is not about asking people to change who they are to fit in. It is about creating environments where people feel accepted as they are. Research shows that when individuals experience belonging, they demonstrate improved wellbeing, increased engagement, and stronger self-confidence (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).

In support work, belonging grows when people feel:

• Listened to

• Taken seriously

• Respected in their differences

• Safe to express needs

These outcomes are not achieved through control or compliance, but through relationships grounded in empathy, predictability, and understanding.

Why Small Things Matter More Than We Think

It is easy to underestimate the impact of small actions. However, over time, these moments accumulate and shape how people see themselves and the world around them.

Small things do not mean insignificant things.

They are the foundation of emotional safety, trust, and meaningful support.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). DSM-5-TR: Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). Author.

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497

Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The “double empathy problem”. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008

O’Neill, R. E., Albin, R. W., Storey, K., Horner, R. H., & Sprague, J. R. (2015). Functional assessment and program development for problem behavior (3rd ed.). Cengage Learning.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2017). Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. Guilford Press.