Small Things That Help People Feel Safe and Valued

In support work, safety and belonging are rarely created by big gestures.

They are built in small, consistent, everyday moments.

In professional care settings, whether supporting autistic individuals, people with learning disabilities, or those experiencing mental health difficulties; emotional safety does not emerge from policies alone. It grows from relational experiences.

Research consistently shows that psychological safety and relational trust are foundational to wellbeing, engagement, and development (Geraghty et al., 2014; Moore et al., 2022). Yet in practice, we often underestimate the power of small interpersonal behaviours.

Things like:

- Being patient rather than rushing

- Listening without immediately correcting

- Keeping your word

- Respecting boundaries

These behaviours may seem minor. But neurologically and psychologically, they are not.

Safety Is a Nervous System Experience

Feeling safe is not just a cognitive belief; it is a physiological state.

When individuals perceive threat, even subtle relational threat such as being dismissed, rushed, or misunderstood, the body shifts into stress responses that prioritise survival over connection or learning (Porges, 2017). In this state, communication, executive functioning, and emotional regulation become more difficult.

Conversely, when someone experiences consistent, predictable, and respectful interactions, the nervous system can settle. This regulated state supports social engagement, communication, and adaptive functioning (Porges, 2017).

In other words: emotional safety creates the conditions for growth.

The Power of Micro-Moments

Small interactions accumulate. They either build trust or erode it.

Attachment research highlights that trust develops through repeated experiences of responsiveness and reliability (Duschinsky & Foster, 2021). When a support worker follows through on what they say, maintains consistent boundaries, and responds calmly during distress, they communicate stability.

Similarly, trauma-informed frameworks emphasise predictability, collaboration, and respect as core principles for creating psychological safety (SAMHSA, 2014; Sweeney et al., 2018).

In autism support specifically, respecting communication differences and sensory needs significantly contributes to wellbeing and reduced distress (Cage et al., 2018; Moore et al., 2022). Being listened to, rather than corrected or overridden, reinforces autonomy and dignity.

These are not dramatic interventions. They are everyday choices.

But they carry meaning.

What Small Actions Actually Communicate

When we:

- Pause instead of rushing

- Validate before redirecting

- Honour stated preferences

- Maintain predictable routines

We communicate something powerful:

You matter here.

Your experience is real.

You are safe with me.

Research on belongingness demonstrates that feeling valued and respected directly supports psychological wellbeing and engagement (Allen et al., 2021). In care environments, this sense of belonging strengthens cooperation, participation, and self-confidence.

Trust is not built through authority.

It is built through consistency.

From Safety to Confidence

When people feel safe, they are more likely to:

- Communicate their needs

- Take appropriate risks

- Attempt new skills

- Express autonomy

Emotional safety is therefore not the opposite of independence, it is its foundation.

Pushing independence without first establishing relational safety can inadvertently increase anxiety and resistance. Supporting safety first creates the secure base from which growth naturally occurs (Duschinsky & Foster, 2021).

This is especially relevant in neurodivergent support, where past experiences of misunderstanding or invalidation may have shaped expectations of interaction (Cage et al., 2018).

Small Things Matter

In support work, we sometimes look for complex strategies.

But often, what makes the greatest difference are the smallest actions.

A calm tone.

A kept promise.

A respected boundary.

A moment of genuine listening.

These micro-moments build trust.

And when trust grows, confidence, communication, and engagement follow.

Small things matter more than we often realise.

Reflection:

What small actions have you seen make the biggest difference in helping someone feel safe and valued?

References

Allen, K. A., Kern, M. L., Vella-Brodrick, D., Hattie, J., & Waters, L. (2021). What schools need to know about fostering school belonging: A meta-analysis. Educational Psychology Review, 33(2), 519–549. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-020-09536-4

Cage, E., Di Monaco, J., & Newell, V. (2018). Experiences of autism acceptance and mental health in autistic adults. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(2), 473–484. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3342-7

Duschinsky, R., & Foster, S. (2021). Attachment and the defence against vulnerability: Exploring secure base dynamics. Attachment & Human Development, 23(5), 481–499. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616734.2020.1851982

Geraghty, A. W. A., Wood, A. M., & Hyland, M. E. (2014). Attrition from self-directed interventions: Investigating the relationship between psychological predictors, intervention content and dropout. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 16(7), e183. https://doi.org/10.2196/jmir.2933

Moore, D. J., et al. (2022). Well-being and mental health in autistic adults: A systematic review. Autism Research, 15(1), 3–17. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.2621

Porges, S. W. (2017). The pocket guide to the polyvagal theory: The transformative power of feeling safe. W. W. Norton & Company.

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (2014). SAMHSA’s concept of trauma and guidance for a trauma-informed approach. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Sweeney, A., Filson, B., Kennedy, A., Collinson, L., & Gillard, S. (2018). A paradigm shift: Relationships in trauma-informed mental health services. BJPsych Advances, 24(5), 319–333. https://doi.org/10.1192/bja.2018.29